Skip to main content

Episode 204 – How to keep your identity when you’re a full time parent with Ryan O’ Connor

For many mothers, midlife is a time when we have to reassess who we are as a person and what we want from life, never mind what we're capable of doing.

Why do we lose our sense of self? Why is it necessary for us to do that and how do we move beyond that?

Repetition, being the voice of reason (aka the voice of doom), explaining why something isn’t a good idea, explaining why clothes need to be picked up off the floor or empty food wrappers need to be put in the bin, why you really shouldn’t leave that apple core in your school bag over the summer holidays, what will be the likely consequences of that decision to climb the tree with the very dodgy-looking branches… all these things seem to make up the vast majority of parenthood.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not knocking parenthood and there are a huge number of amazing moments that I’ll treasure forever. This conversation came out of Ryan’s query as to how to retain your identity when by default, you need to step in to be the child’s voice of reason, their educator, their conscience and in doing so, you can easily forget who you are and what you want.

Join us for this really interesting conversation.

Menopause, Marriage and Motherhood

"Mothers are forced to be what we could call an NPC and non playable character, which means in the lingo of games, someone who isn't really a person, because you become the voice that supplements all the parts of the personality of the child that they don't have. You're the voice that says that's a bad idea, do the washing up, you need to tidy your room, and I think in doing that, it removes who you are as a person."

Menopause, Marriage and Motherhood

About Today’s Guest Ryan O'Connor

Award Winning Actor, Director and Playwrite, Student of Philosophy, Psychology and Criminology

Co-founder and executive director of Someone New Theatre Company, the winner of the 2019 Grace Marion Wilson Trust Award for Playwriting, and an acclaimed actor and director throughout NSW and Victoria

Ryan J O’Connor is a Geelong-based writer of original, alternative plays and prose.

He also has a thriving business that creates Dungeons and Dragons maps and characters.

He is also an excellent baker, a trained stage-combatist, a terrible gardener, and a moderately talented poker player.

He does his best writing while trying to avoid his responsibilities, but loves to tell ‘alternative’ stories: romantic comedies about Death, coming-of-age stories about old men, and science-fiction tales about mythological creatures, just to name a few.

Connect with Ryan:

Link Facebook Instagram